102 - Rent-to-Pawn vs. Hair Currency

Pawn a product you just rented or use your hair as currency... Which will it be? All for a crime that will, at best, net you a $125 bucks - or a free meal. And: ensure you're going to get caught because you do it on camera - or provide all your information to the victim.

That's the hallmark of a FT!

But who's the most FTed?  Thankfully, Comedian Rob Fee is provides his assessment, and his verdict on the "FT of the Week".  

Plus:  A... clean(-ish) fetish...

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Channel

We're part of the Pod Awful Channel.  Podawful.net

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge 

• Rob Fee can be found at: http://flavors.me/robfee
• His bestselling album is "Grape Stomp" on iTunes
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rob.fee
• Twitter @robfee
• Mandatory: http://www.mandatory.com/bloggers/rob-fee/

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Expositor", in several sketch roles.

Info

• This week's stories: Pawn Boy and Hair Guy

Check out 

• All episodes & guests - list here: Dazedandconvicted.com/p/full-guest-list_4.html 
• We're also on Soundcloud (Full episodes) (Just the Mini-casts) 

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

By subscribing:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• I'm also on: the Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Please help us by sharing the show! (From this site, from Soundcloud etc.)
• Other ways to promote the show here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop does all our regular music: the theme song, interstitials, outro music. She has a CD out with her band ToyPop. you can get it on iTunes & Spotify.  Sample the joy that is ToyPOP here: https://soundcloud.com/toypop
• Calso Art for the logo/album art
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg   
• The music in the 1st sketch is not from FreeSound: It's “Gold Rush” by Kevin MacLeod  
  http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100217 
• HOWEVER all other sounds are from Freesound, for the full list see here.
• Photo (below) = Noodles by Darren Lewis
  
  

101 - Idiots for Idol vs Rough and Ready Rodeo Romance

What's more insane: stabbing your partner over the outcome of American Idol or working out your relationship with a genital bitter? (And, no, this is not a repeat of the story in Episode 73. Oh, how I wish it were.) 

Forget it, they are both incomprehensible, so let's just find out who is the most FTed.  Fortunately, Comedian Billy Wayne Davis is here to contemplate - and to decide on the "FT of the Week".  

Plus:  Your manager and your lover. 

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Channel

We're part of the Pod Awful Channel.  Podawful.net

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge 

• Billy Wayne Davis' self-titled Album is available on iTunes and on Amazon 
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/billywaynedavis 
• Twitter https://twitter.com/BillyWayneDavis 
• Bio: http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/comics/BillyWayneDavis

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Expositor", in several sketch roles.

Info

• This week's stories: American Stabbers and Rodeo Romance

Check out 

• All episodes & guests - list here: Dazedandconvicted.com/p/full-guest-list_4.html 
• We're also on Soundcloud (Full episodes) (Just the Mini-casts)  
• There was another genital biting romance WAY back in Episode 73: "Rotten Soda Turned Me into a Pedophile!"   

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

By subscribing:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• I'm also on: the Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Please help us by sharing the show! (From this site, from Soundcloud etc.)
• Other ways to promote the show here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop does all our regular music: the theme song, interstitials, outro music. She has a CD out with her band ToyPop. you can get it on iTunes & Spotify.  Sample the joy that is ToyPOP here: https://soundcloud.com/toypop
• Calso Art for the logo/album art
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg   
• Episode 101 uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here.
• Photo (below) = Cowboy Horse Rider Clipart by Karen Arnold
  
  

100 - Corn Chip Crusader vs. The Dragonslayer - with Pat Dixon

What's a better motive for killing? Needing to slaughter a Taurus - or your victim  having just purchased corn chips? In this, our 100th episode (!), Comedian Pat Dixon of The New York City Crime Report provides his expert insight and judgement for the "FT of the Week"!  Don't miss this highly educational episode!

Plus:  OMG! Craigslist Pet ads! That's bound to be cute, right?! (Spoiler alert: Nope.) 

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Channel

We're part of the Pod Awful Channel.  Podawful.net

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge 

• Pat Dixon can be found at: ComedianPatDixon.com
• The New York City Crime Report is at cavecomedyradio.com/nyccrimereport
• Twitter: @patdixon and @nyccrimereport 
• Facebook: Facebook.com/comedianpatdixon and New York City Crime Report 

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Expositor", in several sketch roles.

Info

• This week's stories: Corn Chip Rage and Taurus, Dragons and Xboxes.  The picture in the last Craigslist ad can be found on my Vine video: ) https://vine.co/v/hBILhw5nWnu (Find all my Vines at: tinyurl.com/monvine or by searching for @monicahamburg )   

Check out 

• All episodes & guests - list here: Dazedandconvicted.com/p/full-guest-list_4.html 
• We're also on Soundcloud (Full episodes) (Just the Mini-casts)  

------------------------------------------------------------------------
GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

By subscribing:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• I'm also on: the Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Please help us by sharing the show! (From this site, from Soundcloud etc.)
• Other ways to promote the show here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

• Boyer (@Saugrenu311) and Brian (@pirsquar)  
• Sloan Garrett of Sloan Garrett.com for the hilarious "Winners - disclaimer".
• For the first sketch the music is: “Decline” by Kevin MacLeod and is licensed under a CC Attribution 3.0. http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300016. 
• For the 2nd sketch the music at the beginning is: “Daydreaming” License: Public Domain - Recorded by Lisa Redfern – on Soundbible: http://soundbible.com/2030-Daydreaming.html
• Shiftypop does all our regular music: the theme song, interstitials, outro music. She has a CD out with her band ToyPop. you can get it on iTunes & Spotify.  Sample the joy that is ToyPOP here: https://soundcloud.com/toypop
• Calso Art for the logo/album art
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg  
• Episode 100 uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here. 
• Photo (below) = Nacho Chips by Darren Lewis 

 

D&C Mini - May 27, 2013 - Gold!!!

D&C Mini is the bi-weekly extension of the podcast. It's a tasty snack to tide you over until the full episode. (For now, "Dazed and Convicted" full episodes will  come out on alternate weeks.)

In this mini, Mike Sains (of the "Tower of Sour" podcast) joins me to talk about some astoundingly poor scams - one of which actually worked! Plus: strange internet finds (daddy issues, my stalker is the best and a unique proposal question).

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Guest

• Mike Sains is on Twitter (@MikeSains ) and on Facebook (Facebook.com/eatmoretruth)
• His podcast is "Tower of Sour" at Soundcloud.com/towerofsour  
• Also: follow the podcast on Facebook at Facebook.com/TowerOfSour and on Twitter @TowerOfSour)

Info

• Stories: They only want gold! Just gold! and Sharp Donuts! 
• Listen to   "98 - Marrivorce Counselling vs. Gynomance" - the latest full show of "Dazed and Convicted".
    
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• Subscribe
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted, Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted, 
  Email: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com, Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

MUSIC & SFX:



• Theme (Intro & Outro): “One-eyed Maestro” by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a CC Attribution 3.0. http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100692.
• For beginning description of show and Interstitials: “Sneaky Snitch” by Kevin MacLeod is the music and it is licensed under a CC Attribution 3.0. http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN110077
  
  

98 - Marrivorce Counselling vs. Gynomance

You might have been told at your job that you're not supposed to date your colleagues - but did you know you also can't use a marriage counseling practice as a way to make your clients get divorced so they can hook up with you? Or that you can't be a gynecologist and rape your patients? Wow! Workplaces have so many rules these days!

Two ethical and professional FTs on display this week - and thankfully comedian Dave Waite is available to sort out the FT of the Week.

Plus: Craigslist kindness!

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Channel

We're part of the Pod Awful Channel.  Podawful.net

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judges 

• Dave Waite can be found at: DaveWaiteComedy.com
• He's on Facebook: Facebook.com/DaveWaiteComedy 
• And on Twitter: (@DaveWaiteComedy   
• His podcast is "Waite For It", is on iTunes.

Info

• This week's stories: Helpful Marriage Counselling and Gynecology "Seduction".

Related episodes

• Episode 97 was flurry of HIV activity - with soothing musical interludes! Check it out: Musical HIV vs. Preventive Euthanasia
• All episodes & guests - list here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/full-guest-list_4.html 

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

Subscribe:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• I'm also on: the Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

BONUS CONTENT 

Sign up for the bonus content - on the Podawful Scrambled Channel. http://podawful.net/dazedandconvicted

More info here.

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Help promote the show: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

Shiftypop for the theme song, interstitials and outro music. 

Calso Art for the logo/album art.

For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg  

For the 1st sketch: the meditation background music is: "Ripples" by Kevin MacLeod and is licensed under a CC Attribution 3.0. http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100691. 

The Mariachi Band is from Soundbyter http://www.soundbyter.com/2011/08/free-mariachi-band-sound-effect/  

Episode 98 ALSO uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here.  

Photo (below) = Call Me In Lipstick by K Whiteford

Delicate and Caring Sexual Encounter

I do enjoy making fun of user-named porn clips. Almost as much as actually watching porn...

These are names that regular people who upload professional porn videos to another site have given the content. And, as you can see, they really know how to sell it!

I prefer MILF... but I do love me them yellow cars!

And here's where I prefer teen lesbians - but it's been a while since I was able to masturbate to a real striped wall!

When I get that feeling... I want Sexual Fingering...

Actually, I'm not sure what feeling that would be, since the term "Sexual Fingering" is making me retch.












Oh, how kind, they're spreading the nausea to men too!

It's what every dude wants to WATCH: a handjob.  And it's fucking romantic... Can you say SCORCHING?!

I'm excited about this Creampie Slut but I do need to be sure she's got her certification.

Check out a recent episode of the minicast (a bi-weekly extension of the podcast.):
"Dazed and Convicted", a dark comedy podcast.

DazedandConvicted.com

Twitter: @dazedconvicted

Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted

D&C Mini - April 29, 2013 - ADD Ghost

D&C Mini is the bi-weekly extension of the podcast. (For now, "Dazed and Convicted" full episodes will  come out on alternate weeks.) In this mini, Jesse PS joins me to discuss two hauntings... (with a learning disabled ghost and a flatulent daemon)  - and to read some strange internet finds (ghost sex, hot gay daemons and more).

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Guest

• Jesse PS's podcast is: Pod Awful (Podawful.com)  
• He's also on Twitter: @PodAwful and on the Pod Awful Channel Facebook Group

• Jesse was on "Episode 75 - To Cherish You As Long As You Live. Which Won't Be Much Longer"
Info

• Stories: Facebook Fury and Snakey Proposition.
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• Subscribe
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted, Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted, Email: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com, Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

MUSIC & SFX:





Theme (Intro & Outro): “One-eyed Maestro” by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a CC Attribution 3.0. http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100692.
For beginning description of show and Interstitials: “Sneaky Snitch” by Kevin MacLeod is the music and it is licensed under a CC Attribution 3.0. http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100772