100 - Corn Chip Crusader vs. The Dragonslayer - with Pat Dixon

What's a better motive for killing? Needing to slaughter a Taurus - or your victim  having just purchased corn chips? In this, our 100th episode (!), Comedian Pat Dixon of The New York City Crime Report provides his expert insight and judgement for the "FT of the Week"!  Don't miss this highly educational episode!

Plus:  OMG! Craigslist Pet ads! That's bound to be cute, right?! (Spoiler alert: Nope.) 

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Channel

We're part of the Pod Awful Channel.  Podawful.net

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge 

• Pat Dixon can be found at: ComedianPatDixon.com
• The New York City Crime Report is at cavecomedyradio.com/nyccrimereport
• Twitter: @patdixon and @nyccrimereport 
• Facebook: Facebook.com/comedianpatdixon and New York City Crime Report 

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Expositor", in several sketch roles.

Info

• This week's stories: Corn Chip Rage and Taurus, Dragons and Xboxes.  The picture in the last Craigslist ad can be found on my Vine video: ) https://vine.co/v/hBILhw5nWnu (Find all my Vines at: tinyurl.com/monvine or by searching for @monicahamburg )   

Check out 

• All episodes & guests - list here: Dazedandconvicted.com/p/full-guest-list_4.html 
• We're also on Soundcloud (Full episodes) (Just the Mini-casts)  

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

By subscribing:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• I'm also on: the Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Please help us by sharing the show! (From this site, from Soundcloud etc.)
• Other ways to promote the show here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

• Boyer (@Saugrenu311) and Brian (@pirsquar)  
• Sloan Garrett of Sloan Garrett.com for the hilarious "Winners - disclaimer".
• For the first sketch the music is: “Decline” by Kevin MacLeod and is licensed under a CC Attribution 3.0. http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300016. 
• For the 2nd sketch the music at the beginning is: “Daydreaming” License: Public Domain - Recorded by Lisa Redfern – on Soundbible: http://soundbible.com/2030-Daydreaming.html
• Shiftypop does all our regular music: the theme song, interstitials, outro music. She has a CD out with her band ToyPop. you can get it on iTunes & Spotify.  Sample the joy that is ToyPOP here: https://soundcloud.com/toypop
• Calso Art for the logo/album art
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg  
• Episode 100 uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here. 
• Photo (below) = Nacho Chips by Darren Lewis 

 

96 - Alcohol Fueled Foot vs. Tech Solution!

This week's FTs are more than willing to put themselves out there (or in there): One really wishes to publicize his achievement while another decides to put his best foot forward...

We're thrilled comedians Jon Shefsky and Jeff Amaral are here to crown the glorious FT of the Week.

Plus: Confounding confessions!

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Channel

We're part of the Pod Awful Channel.  Podawful.net

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judges 

• Jon Shefsky (Joncomedy.com) is on Twitter (@Shefsky) and Facebook (Facebook.com/Jon.Shefsky).
• Jeff Amaral is on YouTube (youtube.com/user/JeffAmaralJeffAmaral)

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Expositor", in several sketch roles.

Info

• This week's stories: Status Update and Foot Solution.

Related episodes

• Check out the Mini show where Facebook comes into play once again in a strange way... "D&C Mini - April 15, 2013".
• All episodes & guests - list here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/full-guest-list_4.html

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

Subscribe:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• I'm also on: the Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

BONUS CONTENT 

Sign up for the bonus content - on the Podawful Scrambled Channel. http://podawful.net/dazedandconvicted

More info here.

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Help promote the show: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

Shiftypop for the theme song, interstitials and outro music. 

Calso Art for the logo/album art.

For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg 

In the 2nd sketch - the "Evening News" theme song is: "News Theme" by Kevin MacLeod - and is licensed under a CC Attribution 3.0.

Episode 96 uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here.

Photo (below) = Scared Guy by Frits Ahlefeldt

88 - Totem Pole Killer vs. Sweet Tranny Dealer

A man murders his wife with a totem pole they built.  A cross-dressing priest has sex in the rectory - and deals meth.

Who's most outrageous?!
Oh, wait, that's not the premise of the show.

To determine the "FT of the Week" - the lovely Chris Wilding (of the Bi-Quarterly Women's Social Club) comes on and skewers the perpetrators - and their art.

Plus:  Cuff love...

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Channel

We're part of the Pod Awful Channel.  Podawful.net

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Chris Wilding's podcast is: The B-Quarterly Women's Social Club bqwsc.tumblr.com   
• You can find him on Facebook Facebook.com/chriswilding and the podcast at: Facebook.com/biquarterly
• He's also on Twitter: @cwild22
• And here's an example of their wonderful prank calls: http://bit.ly/bqwscclip  

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Expositor", in several sketch roles.

Info

• This week's stories: Totem Pole Killer, Sweet Tranny Dealer. Plus: Cuff Love.

Related episodes

• Last week we insulted another type of artistry on "Episode 87 - Road Artistry vs. Pedo in a Cupboard" with Guest Judge Jason Horton.
• Full episode list here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/full-guest-list_4.html

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

Subscribe:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• New iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Help promote the show: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO: 

Pete Mosley for sending me the priest article.  If you recall, we've featured his music on some of  "The S&M Rants" outros: The Clemence Mosley Consort - from the album “MacGuffin” (iTunes) 

Shiftypop for the theme song, interstitials and outro music. 

Calso Art for the logo/album art.

For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg   

Episode 88 uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here.

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84 - A Holly Holey Christmas vs. Frosty The Snipman

'Tis the season for: merriment, stress and resolutions. So why not resolve some pesky problems, like killing the wife you divorced years ago – or the nagging issue of not being infamous yet?!

As always, we haven’t a clue who is more FTed – and we particularly appreciate Brian Frange coming on as our Guest Judge and imparting his insight, wit and enthusiasm to determine the “FT of the Week”.

 Plus: Make some holiday changes! Politely request police.

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

• List of the Guest Judges & their episodes here!

Channel

We're now a part of the Podawful Channel.  Podawful.net

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Brian Frange's blog is: nothingisgood.com 
• You can find him on Facebook: Facebook.com/brianfrange
• and on Twitter (@brianfrange)

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Expositor", in several sketch roles.

Info

• This week's stories: Church... Service and HitMan & The SnipMan. Plus: Be Good This Year. Please and sorry.  

Related episodes

• Last week, we looked at some dating disasters. EXTREME dating disasters. 83 - Meet a Woman to Ruin Your Life - or a Man to Take It

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

Subscribe:

• Feed: http://bit.ly/XJJF2W
• New iTunes link: http://bit.ly/QwGvMU
• On Stitcher: http://bit.ly/OK4Kr8
• Via Email (see: http://bit.ly/S1PsMk)

FIND

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://bit.ly/10vkOzJ

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Help promote the show: http://bit.ly/S1PsMo

THANKS TO: 

• Shiftypop for the theme song, interstitials and outro music.
• Harry Meas of Undercover Apple for the initial intro music.
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg  
• Episode 84 uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here.

--
Below: Santa Please Stop Here by Petr Kratochvil

83 - Meet a Woman to Ruin Your Life - or a Man to Take It

Dating! It's full of pitfalls: like being falsely accused of rape or being murdered by a sicko with a dark sense of humor.  Pick your poison. Or FT.

Comedian Carlos Herrera is our Guest Judge and determines the "FT of the Week"!

Plus:  a 15-step program for addiction!

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

• List of the Guest Judges & their episodes here!

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Find Carlos Herrera on Twitter (@cjherrera)
• And on Facebook 

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Explosator", in several sketch roles. 

Info

• This week's stories: Rape is in the Eye of the Beholder..? and a WICKED Man. Plus: a compassionate plan.

Related episodes

• Last week, we learned what will bring you.... Never mind - the answer is: Drugs! It's always: Drugs. Episode 82 - Get Closer To God - Or To Your Victim - With Drugs. 

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

Subscribe:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• New iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Help promote the show: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO: 

• Sloan Garrett (of SloanGarrett.com for creating and voicing the "Winners ad" - music "Winners" is "Overcast: by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
• Shiftypop for the theme song, interstitials and outro music.
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg  and music by beatscribe 
• Episode 83 uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here.  

--
Photo below: Glass Of Wine For Two by Vera Kratochvil

Episode 62 - Ooops There Goes Another Baby Go Splat

Look, nobody said you'd love your kids once you had them.
Wait - everybody says that...
Well, this week the competitors are two gals who realized they weren't up for the task of child-rearing - only once they were considerably entangled. So they found some interesting ways of dealing with their problem.
Thankfully, Comedian Julian Kross is here to contemplate these FTs and weigh in on who merits the title of "FT of the week".
Plus: We learn about the hottest place to be!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Julian Kross is at (Juliankross.com) and can be found on Facebook (Facebook.com/JulianKrossComedy) and on Twitter (@JulianKross).   
• He has a book: "What You Didn't Expect When You Got Knocked Up" available on Amazon. Buy it to avoid being a FT we profile on the show. 

Info

• This week's stories: Attentive Mother, Highway Watcher  
• Thanks to Pete Mosley for the outro music: The Clemence Mosley Consort with their tune :"Crooked House" - from the album “MacGuffin” (iTunes)  
• The dying sound-effect my cruel song is "dying" - Recorded by Mike Koenig via Soundbible 
• Last week, one guy blames his gropping gals on... caffeine. Episode 61 - My Coffee Made Me Gropey and Other Tales of Woe - with Tom Simmons.  

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. They deserve it.)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
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  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 42 - When you Friend an FT, You Friend for Life

How do you right a wrong?! How will you avenge an insult as strong, as brutal, as soul-destroying as... a Facebook Unfriending?
Why, murder or arson, of course!
That is, if you're an FT.
Some baffling idiocy on display here so we are most grateful to have Eli Braden as our Guest Judge to determine our "FT of the Week".
Plus we learn how to enlarge our breasts...
And (after the outro) Eli's song: "White People Problems".

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• Eli Braden info: He's on @elibraden on Twitter and on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/elibraden) and his album: "The New King of Comedy-Based Music" is available on iTunes   
• There's more Facebook related idiocy on Episode 25 "Facebook, FTs, Faceplant" - where we learn of what happens when you don't like your husband's status or when you try to friend your victim - with the Greg Vance and Ryan Downing from "Stupid Wankers". 

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• SUBSCRIBE!
• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: e a positive review for us will mean you'll be fully protected from rabid vaginas when they inevitably attack!)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

---

GET MORE FTs! We post more weird content on:
Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants
CONTACT/FIND US:
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll above)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

 

Episode 39 - God Save Your Victims vs. Gambling with the Dead

Once again, we have some ethical dilemmas...
If you run over someone with your car what's the protocol? Get out and help him or provide some religious insight? And if someone's advances are making you consistently uncomfortable should you report him to the police or murder him and go gambling with the body in the trunk?
Remember: you never choose the obvious when you go full FT.
We're thankful that Pat and Rob from the comedy podcast, "Somebody and Me" are here as our Guest Judges to provide some insight and decide the "FT of the Week".
Plus: We envision a fake doctor call.

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• Follow Somebody and Me  on Twitter (@SomebodyFunny) and on Facebook   
• Was this your first time listening to "The S&M Rants"? You might want to try Episode 35 next. 
• There are more odd dillemas way back on Episode 20 with Sara Bynoe " 20 ("Hang Out With A Dead Body, Hide Your Pron, The Fake Hitman Cometh!" with Sara Bynoe). 

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• SUBSCRIBE!
• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: you are special. And we love you!)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  

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We're on Stitcher Now:
http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :)
GET MORE FTs! On:
Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants
CONTACT/FIND US:
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week".
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

Episode 28 - Turn Your Feces to Gold or Frame a Bear for Murder

When you have an epic plan - nothing can stop you. If you have a scheme that involves dressing up in a bear carcass in order to kill your ex or using your excrement to make gold - there might be some obstacles. Which one will take the "FT of The Week" title? This one's a doosey... Fortunately, comedian Eric Fell is here to lend his skill and insight. And Devon Lougheed returns to read his so very gangsta teen freestyle rap.
Plus: You can now vote for the FTs! (below)


Watch Eric Fell read from the creepy "1001 Ways to be Romantic".
And we spoke to Sara Bynoe and Devon Lougheed on Episode 20.  Listen to that awesomeness.

Subscribe on iTunes (rate us!) and please tell your inappropriate friends about us - our site is now: rantmehard.com
Twitter: @rantmehard / Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants / New Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants  / Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us!  About whatever you like!  / Email: monica@rantmehard.com / Shane: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) / Monica: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)