77 - Horny Naked Highway Clown vs. an Old Weight-Challenged Beach-Loving Perv

Get sexed up by a clown on the road or have an elderly man pleasure himself to you by the sea? So many hot options this time, it's impossible to choose!
Luckily, the guys from the "Sweet Feathery Jesus" Podcast (Booze, Belasco and Dr. P.) return to Guest Judge to provide insight on the madness help us understand - and decide on the "FT of the Week".
Plus: Another lousy experience at a bank.
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---Information and Links ---
"The S&M Rants" is now called "Dazed and Convicted" and is at DazedandConvicted.com

• List of the Guest Judges we're had so far & their episode links here!

Guest Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judges

Hear: The Sweet Feathery Jesus podcast: Sweetfeatheryjesus.com

Find them on Twitter: (Main & Booze: @sfjdotcom, Belasco = @Jeffasu, Dr. P. = @BeTheCatfish  

On Facebook: Facebook.com/sfjdotcom    

And: Monica's on one of their ".5" episodes... 55.5 - "Festivities".  

Info

• This week's stories: Naked Clown, Old Perv, - plus: indigant robber.

Related episodes
The SFJ Guys were also on Episode 70 - Cape FT.
Last week, some real fakers... including a woman who faked her own kidnapping to get a day off work.  On Episode 76 - Fake it Until You... Something
See a full list of all Guest Judges and their episodes.
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GENERAL SHOW NOTES
GET IT. FAST.  Please Subscribe

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413 
• On Stitcher too: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html

FIND

More snarky and weird content on:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted

OTHER INFO:

• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop  for the new theme song and outro music
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.
• Contributors on Freesound.org - Episode 77 uses many sounds from freesound, for the full list see here.

Seashell by Petr Kratochvil

76 - Fake It Until You... Something

There's a bunch of weird faking going on in this episode.  We have a man who fakes a robbery to... who knows, really.  And a woman who decides to get out of work by feigning her own kidnapping. Time off rocks!

The funny and dynamic Seth Wright from "Tales from the Attic" is back to share his derision as Guest Judge, and assess who truly merits the "FT of the Week" title.

Plus: Lesbian sex scammer (Yes! You read that right!)
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Guest Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Seth's podcast is at: http://talesfromtheattic.net
• Find him on Twitter:  @sethdwright 
• And find the podcast at: @tftapodcast and on Facebook: Facebook.com/talesfromtheattic 

• List of the Guest Judges we're had so far & their episode links here!

Info & Credits

• This week's stories: Thief Defender/Robber and Taking the Day Off... Sanity - plus: the lesbian sex scammer.  
• Episode 76 uses many sounds from freesound, full list here.

Related episodes

• Seth Wright was also on Episode 23 - "You Mess With The Convicted Murderer Cashier At McDonalds, You Get The Crowbar" 
• Last week, some abusers who really diversify! On Episode 75 - To Cherish You As Long As You Live. Which Won't Be Much Longer  - with Guest Judge Jesse P-S.
• More strange plans and excuses labelled "Excuses"
• More mind-melting excuses including "Rotten Soda Turned Me into a Pedophile!" tagged as "excuses". 

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES 

• TO GET IT. FAST.  Please Subscribe
  
  • Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
  • iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413 
  • On Stitcher too: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
  • Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html
FIND

More snarky and weird content on:
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted


OTHER INFO:



• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop  for the new theme song and outro music: 
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.

75 - To Cherish You As Long As You Live. Which Won't Be Much Longer

Some men are just irresistible! Especially the kind who are already on trial for beating someone when you meet them. Or the ones who get booted out of the Navy because they love children… too much.

How to choose the winning FT?! It's impossible!

Which is why it's so wonderful to have Jesse PS from "Podawful" Guest Judging and have him decide who truly merits the "FT of the Week" title.

Plus: A man who is very accident-prone!

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---Information and Links ---

• List of the Guest Judges we're had so far & their episode links here!

Guest Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Jesse P-S can be found at: jessep-s.com
• Jesse's podcast is: Podawful podawful.com
• Find him on Twitter: @JesseP_S 
• On Facebook: Facebook.com/jesseps 

InfoThis week's stories: Marriage Material and Absent-minded Stalker-Ex - and "Accident Prone" Man.

Attribution:

• Crowd talking by Courtroom noise by Tomlija on Freesound.org 
• Trance music by Nandoo1 on Freesound.org  
• British phone ring by Acclivity on Freesound.org  
• Hang up sound by ondrosik on Freesound.org 
• Photo below is  Face Of The Man by Jiri Hodan

Related episodes

• Last week, excitement abounds in the lives of these FTs on "Episode 75 - The Gimp, The Goons, His Limb and His Ex-Lover" - with Guest Judge Josh Mattingly.
• More ideal men on "Episode 40 - My FT Valentine. Deranged, Psycho Valentine". With Guest Judges Adam Hiniker and Vance Barber.  

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

TO GET IT. FAST.  Please Subscribe
• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413 
• On Stitcher too: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html
FIND

More snarky and weird content on:
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted


OTHER INFO:



• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop  for the new theme song and outro music:  
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.
  
  
  
  

74 - The Gimp, The Goons, His Limb and His Ex-Lover

Did you wake up recently and think, "Man... My life is so darn BORING?!"

Not these people... Their days are chock-full-of-nuts... We can't even begin to imagine what a crazy time would constitute for these FTs...

This week the competitors are a woman who is accused of DUI - while already on probation for...  well, let's not even get into the for... And a family that'll make yours look sane in comparison.

Guest Judging this week is Josh Mattingly from "Two White Guys Podcast" and it's joyous to have him decide who truly merits the title of the "FT of the Week".

Plus: An erotic story about... a night... and a bunch of countries...(?)

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---Information and Links ---

• List of the Guest Judges we're had so far & their episode links here!

Guest Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Josh Mattingly's podcast is: Two White Guys Podcast Twowhiteguys.tumblr.com/ 
• His Movember video is at: Youtube.com/watch?v=to-QvYUWnVQ
• Find him on Twitter:@JoshMattingly and @TWGPodcast,
• On Facebook: Facebook.com/JoshMattingly and  Facebook.com/pages/Two-White-Guys-Podcast/ 
• On YouTube: The IndieStatik Channel     

Info

• This week's stories: She's a Lady... and Custody Battle.  

Attribution:

• Crowd talking by Sagetyrtle on Freesound.org
• Door slam by Dobroide on Freesound.org
• Romantic song at Restaurant by Cheesepuff on Freesound.org  

Related episodes

• Last week, bad soda turned a guy bad! On Episode 73 - "Rotten Soda Turned Me Intro a Pedophile" - with Guest Judge Will Hines.
• More extreme chaos in Episode 49: "Choke, Rattle and Roll" where some guys committ way too many crimes in a short period of time... With Guest Judge Caleb Bacon.  

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

• TO GET IT. FAST.  Please Subscribe
  • Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
  • iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413 
  • On Stitcher too: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
  • Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html
FIND

More snarky and weird content on:
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted


OTHER INFO:



• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop  for the new theme song and outro music:  
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.

73 - Rotten Soda Turned Me into a Pedophile!

Drinking can be harmful. Of course, you're aware of that.  But there are some things you may not know.
Whether it's alcohol or bad soda(?!) we feel it's important our audience be informed about the following (often overlooked) dangers of beverage consumption:

Groggy child molesting and rabid nut biting.

Please consume responsibly.

Thankfully, Will Hines is here as the Guest Judge to evaluate who truly deserves to be crowned  "FT of the Week".

Plus: Grandchildren can be real pains...
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---Information and Links ---

Guest Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Will Hines can be found at WillHines.net 
• Find him on Twitter: @WillHines
• On Facebook: Facebook.com/WillHines

Info

• This week's stories: Bad Soda and Nut Biting Romance + Corrupting Grandma

Thanks to:

• Shiftypop  for the Dazed and Convicted theme song and outro music: 
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art: 

Attribution:

• Door slamming (& closing) sound by Payattention on Freesound.org  
• Sci fi sound by ERH on Freesound.org  
• “It had to be you” sample  
• Phone sound in last sketch/song is by Razzvio on Freesound.org 
• The dial tone sound is by hyderpotter on Freesound.org

Related episodes

• Last week, a couch molestor and a peeping tom+ duked it out for the title! On Episode 72: "Love Song for a Couch" - with Travis Clark. 
• More mind-melting excuses are tagged as "excuses". 

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES (UPDATED)

• TO GET IT. FAST.  Please Subscribe
  • Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
  • iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413 
  • On Stitcher too: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
  • Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html
FIND

More snarky and weird content on:
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted


OTHER INFO:



• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop  for the new theme song and outro music: 
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.