75 - To Cherish You As Long As You Live. Which Won't Be Much Longer

Some men are just irresistible! Especially the kind who are already on trial for beating someone when you meet them. Or the ones who get booted out of the Navy because they love children… too much.

How to choose the winning FT?! It's impossible!

Which is why it's so wonderful to have Jesse PS from "Podawful" Guest Judging and have him decide who truly merits the "FT of the Week" title.

Plus: A man who is very accident-prone!

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---Information and Links ---

• List of the Guest Judges we're had so far & their episode links here!

Guest Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Jesse P-S can be found at: jessep-s.com
• Jesse's podcast is: Podawful podawful.com
• Find him on Twitter: @JesseP_S 
• On Facebook: Facebook.com/jesseps 

InfoThis week's stories: Marriage Material and Absent-minded Stalker-Ex - and "Accident Prone" Man.

Attribution:

• Crowd talking by Courtroom noise by Tomlija on Freesound.org 
• Trance music by Nandoo1 on Freesound.org  
• British phone ring by Acclivity on Freesound.org  
• Hang up sound by ondrosik on Freesound.org 
• Photo below is  Face Of The Man by Jiri Hodan

Related episodes

• Last week, excitement abounds in the lives of these FTs on "Episode 75 - The Gimp, The Goons, His Limb and His Ex-Lover" - with Guest Judge Josh Mattingly.
• More ideal men on "Episode 40 - My FT Valentine. Deranged, Psycho Valentine". With Guest Judges Adam Hiniker and Vance Barber.  

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

TO GET IT. FAST.  Please Subscribe
• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413 
• On Stitcher too: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html
FIND

More snarky and weird content on:
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted


OTHER INFO:



• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop  for the new theme song and outro music:  
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.
  
  
  
  

73 - Rotten Soda Turned Me into a Pedophile!

Drinking can be harmful. Of course, you're aware of that.  But there are some things you may not know.
Whether it's alcohol or bad soda(?!) we feel it's important our audience be informed about the following (often overlooked) dangers of beverage consumption:

Groggy child molesting and rabid nut biting.

Please consume responsibly.

Thankfully, Will Hines is here as the Guest Judge to evaluate who truly deserves to be crowned  "FT of the Week".

Plus: Grandchildren can be real pains...
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---Information and Links ---

Guest Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Will Hines can be found at WillHines.net 
• Find him on Twitter: @WillHines
• On Facebook: Facebook.com/WillHines

Info

• This week's stories: Bad Soda and Nut Biting Romance + Corrupting Grandma

Thanks to:

• Shiftypop  for the Dazed and Convicted theme song and outro music: 
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art: 

Attribution:

• Door slamming (& closing) sound by Payattention on Freesound.org  
• Sci fi sound by ERH on Freesound.org  
• “It had to be you” sample  
• Phone sound in last sketch/song is by Razzvio on Freesound.org 
• The dial tone sound is by hyderpotter on Freesound.org

Related episodes

• Last week, a couch molestor and a peeping tom+ duked it out for the title! On Episode 72: "Love Song for a Couch" - with Travis Clark. 
• More mind-melting excuses are tagged as "excuses". 

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES (UPDATED)

• TO GET IT. FAST.  Please Subscribe
  • Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
  • iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413 
  • On Stitcher too: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
  • Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html
FIND

More snarky and weird content on:
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted


OTHER INFO:



• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop  for the new theme song and outro music: 
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.

72 - Love Song for a Couch

Once again, we have gentlemen who can't resist making their perversion public.

This time: a man who gets busy with a couch and a dude who diversifies with his fetishes - from pools to trouser pulling - he's got it all!

We're thrilled to have Travis Clark (of "Tiny Odd Conversations") as our Guest Judge to evaluate who truly merits the title of "FT of the Week".

Plus: No guns, please!

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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Travis Clark's podcast is "Tiny Odd Conversations"
• Find him on Twitter: (@thatguytravis and @tocpod)
• On Facebook:  Facebook.com/tocpod    

Info

• This week's stories: Couch Lover (mugshot) and Bathroom Peeper. +Lovers in a dangerous... state of mind... 

Thanks to:

• [__Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Sunshine version 2). His site has tons of great, royalty-free tunes. ]

Related episodes

• Last week, public self-pleasuring on others was our theme: with a gal who called in an airline bomb threat to get revenge on her boyfriend - and another extreme overreactor... Episode 71: "Parks and Recreation XXX" - with Bobbie Oliver. 
• You can find a list of the Guest Judges we're had so far & their episode links here! 
• Want (to hear about) more pervs? Check out the various "perverts"-tagged episodes.  Including (#66) with Graham Kay.

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---

GENERAL SHOW NOTES (UPDATED)

TO GET IT. FAST.  Please Subscribe
• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413 
• On Stitcher too: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html
FIND

More snarky and weird content on:
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted


OTHER INFO:



• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

71 - Parks and Recreation XXX

Hey, some people get off in the privacy of their own home. Amateurs! This week's FTs are public self-pleasuring experts. And they know how dull it is to wank it when you don't have a target... you need to find someone to aim your spunk at: be it a suntanner or that gal you're training at the gym.

Who said FTs were subtle creatures?

We're so fortunate to have Bobbie Oliver as our Guest Judge to figure out who truly merits the title of "FT of the Week".

Plus: Did you know that cats can make you decent coin? Especially dead, imaginary ones!

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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Bobbie Oliver is at (http://bobbieoliver.net ) 
• Find ther on Twitter: (@thebobbieoliver)
• On Facebook:  Facebook.com/TheBobbieOliver     
• Her podcast is:  Psychedelicatessen  

Info

• This week's stories: Park Wanker and Gym Rat. 
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Kool Kats"). His site has tons of great, royalty-free tunes.  

Related episodes

• Pervs abound! We have a number of sleazy pervs on the following episodes tagged, logically, "perverts".  Including one (#37) where Monica talks to her Mom about some prize deviants... 
• And, last week, VENGEANCE was our theme: with a gal who called in an airline bomb threat to get revenge on her boyfriend - and another extreme overreactor... Episode 70: "Cape FT" - with the guys from "Sweet Feathery Jesus". 
• P.S. Just put up a list of the Guest Judges we're had so far & their episode links here! 

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

• Please Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• On Stitcher too: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html
  
FIND

More snarky and weird content on:
• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
  


OTHER INFO:



• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
  
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop  for the new theme song and outro music: 
• Anthony Vincent for the new interstitial (rant, rant, rants): 
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.

68 - Hide and Go Screwy

Gals! You like 'em, you want to be around 'em... But what if they don't want you?
Sure, the average guy might just pack it in and call it a day - but a truly determined one would unpack and call it home.
This week, two guys who moved in to their love's pad - without her permission or knowledge. Because there's nothing MORE romantic (or manly) than just being there. Always. Under the stairs.
Fortunately, Comedian Cameron Buchholtz is able to assess the pathos and decide the "FT of the Week".
Plus: "Erotic" stuff: a SUPER straight guy! (Remember that!) And a German boy (or something) gets it on (or something).  
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Cameron Buchholtz can be found at CameronBuchholtz.com, on Twitter (@cbuchholtz) and on Facebook.
• His podcast is CB Radio (CBRadioComedy.com. Get it on iTunes. 

Info

• This week's stories: Bunker Guy, Trailer Man
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Sneaky Adventure"). His site has tons of great, royalty-free tunes.  

Related episodes

• We talked about 2 guys with unusual techiques to woo on "Episode 40 - My FT Valentine. Deranged, Psycho Valentine
• Last week, John Cullen assessed two EXTREME liars - including a pair who lied about a non-existant missing child to get a ride home after drinking... on Episode 67 - Fantasy FTland 

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. Show them you're hip  - or deranged!)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)  

67 - Fantasy FTland

Sometimes it's difficult to figure out the right course of action.
Say you're drunk and could use a ride home - you might simply ask a driver to do you a solid - but you can pretty much ensure a ride if you claim your (non-existent) child has been kidnapped. And what if you get stood up on a date? You could confront your date and tell him he's a louse - but wouldn't your frustration be conveyed more effectively if you got him arrested for a crime he didn't commit?
Comedian John Cullen judges the weirdness and decides the "FT of the Week", and we couldn't be more thankful.
Plus: Parking lot fragrance sampling!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• John Cullen is on Twitter (@cullenthecomic) 
• He'll be performing at Yuk Yuks Vancouver October 11-13th. 

Info

• This week's stories: Lie to Ride, Stand up gal  
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Sunshine version 2"). His site has tons of great, royalty-free tunes.  

Related episodes

• He discussed a guy who lied about the KKK targetting his family - to save his marriage! On Episode 29 - Better Relationships Through Arrests and the KKK! with Alex Falcone and Ezra Fox (of "Read it and Weep").
• More episodes highlighting extreme fibbers - including tales about ghosts strangling the wife, hostage takings to avoid admitting drunkeness, and a rape to change neighborhoods - tagged as: "lies"!   
• Last week,Graham Kay decided between two unique perverts on "Episode 66 - Naked out of Consideration vs Cross-Dressing to Molest"

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. Show them you're hip  - or deranged!)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)  

65 - A Kick in the Face May Be Quite Therapeutic But Trauma is a Gal's Best Friend

As sinners, it's obvious why we wouldn't know the intricacies of evangelical work.
But the pious men we feature this time around sure do! One traumatises his young flock in order for them to prep for future traumatisation.  Another beats his followers to rid them of ailments!
It's what Jesus would have wanted.   
Fortunately, Comedians Jon Shefsky and Johnny Skourtis are our Guest Judges and they combine their power to determine this week's "FT of the week".
Plus: Sorting out your real-life issues in a comments thread!
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---Information and Links ---
Guests 

• Jon Shefsky (Joncomedy.com) is on Twitter (@Shefsky) and Facebook (Facebook.com/Jon.Shefsky). 
• Johnny Skourtis is on Twitter (@JohnnySkourtis) and Facebook (Facebook.com/Johnny.Skourtis). 

Info

• This week's stories: Pastor Trauma, Evangelist Kick-in-Face   
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("A Friendly Day"). His site has lots of fantastic, royalty-free tunes.  
• Another example of trauma to teach on Episode 55 - Bushy Arsonist vs. Lessons from a Lamebrain 
• Another ever-so-pious man on Episode 52 - A Loving Pastor and Killer vs. A Cheesemaking Murderer and Politician! with Sam Tripoli. 
• Last week, we discussed some perverted workplace tactics with Jessica Sager on "Episode 64 - Professor Pie and the Drive-Through Delinquent"

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. Show them you're sick too!)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

64 - Professor Pie and the Drive-Through Delinquent

Corrupt your job - FT-style!
We should have learned (after Episode 48) that the most appropriate place for perverted illegal acts is, of course, your workplace!
Look, work is where you spend most of your time and when you add your fetish to your job, you enjoy it that much more.
And so, this week, we feature a professor who shares his passion with his students and a fast-food worker who gives some patrons what they really want.
Fortunately, Comedian Jessica Sager can lend us her wisdom and decide the "FT of the week".
Plus: Stabbing over a Cosmo Quiz.  (Which sounds about right, actually.)
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Jessica Sager is on Twitter (@ohheyjessager) and Facebook (Facebook.com/ohheyjesssager ).
• There's a cool interview with her on the "It's a Horrible Life" blog.

Info

• This week's stories: Drive-through, Professor Pie Fetish   
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Jarvic8"). His site has a whole whack of awesome, royalty-free tunes.   
• More workplace perversion on Episode 48 - Look, If You're Going to Get All Irrational About My Junk...  - with Cort Webber and Fatboy Roberts.
• And another pervie teacher on "Episode 34 - What's the answer? Get Naked! What's the question? Who cares!" with Glenn Tickle.   

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. Show them you're sick too!)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 63 - Fork You, I Love You and the Case of the Raving Roomie

Some people are so passionate!  This week we have a lover who forking lost it - and a man who really desired some rommate separation...
Bill Allman returns to provides his especially-legit judgement on these FTs and decides who's most deserving of the title of "FT of the week".
Plus: Let's do the mind warp (again?)!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest

• Bill Allman is rad (well, for a lawyer.. ;) He's also a writer and producer, and president of Famous Artists.   
  

Info

• This week's stories: Forking lover, Rabid roomie 
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Aces High"). His site has a whole whack of awesome, royalty-free tunes.   
• I refer to the discussion of "tentacle erotica" which was on Episode 61 - My Coffee Made Me Gropey and Other Tales of Woe with Guest Judge Tom Simmons. 
• Bill was on a pretty early episode of our show, Episode 19.
• Last week, we had some very responsible mothers battling for the FT title on Episode 62 - Ooops there goes another baby go splat - with Julian Kross. 

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. They deserve it.)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: http://about.me/monicahamburg YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 62 - Ooops There Goes Another Baby Go Splat

Look, nobody said you'd love your kids once you had them.
Wait - everybody says that...
Well, this week the competitors are two gals who realized they weren't up for the task of child-rearing - only once they were considerably entangled. So they found some interesting ways of dealing with their problem.
Thankfully, Comedian Julian Kross is here to contemplate these FTs and weigh in on who merits the title of "FT of the week".
Plus: We learn about the hottest place to be!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Julian Kross is at (Juliankross.com) and can be found on Facebook (Facebook.com/JulianKrossComedy) and on Twitter (@JulianKross).   
• He has a book: "What You Didn't Expect When You Got Knocked Up" available on Amazon. Buy it to avoid being a FT we profile on the show. 

Info

• This week's stories: Attentive Mother, Highway Watcher  
• Thanks to Pete Mosley for the outro music: The Clemence Mosley Consort with their tune :"Crooked House" - from the album “MacGuffin” (iTunes)  
• The dying sound-effect my cruel song is "dying" - Recorded by Mike Koenig via Soundbible 
• Last week, one guy blames his gropping gals on... caffeine. Episode 61 - My Coffee Made Me Gropey and Other Tales of Woe - with Tom Simmons.  

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---

SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. They deserve it.)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 60 - Jailhouse Rock vs. Irresistible Department Store

Loving yourself is essential.  Of course, it might be prudent to conduct your hot self-action, in private.
Or you could whip it out at as you leave jail for court - or at Zeller's.  That's cool too, Bro.
The wonderful Comedian Eric Fell returns to Guest Judge, deciding the "FT of the Week"!
Plus: Upcoming hit films!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Eric Fell can be found on Facebook ( Facebook.com/ericfell) and on Twitter ( @EricFell ).  He's in the Critical Hit Show: "A Live Dugeons and Dragon Experience".  And here he is reading from "Breaking Dawn" (at "Say Wha?!").

Info

• This week's stories: Jailer, Zeller's Man  
• Thanks to Pete Mosley for the outro music: The Clemence Mosley Consort with their tune :"MacGuffin" - from the album “MacGuffin” (iTunes)  
• Last week, we discussed some crazy spirit action! Episode 59 "The Spirits Request that You Do Porn" - with Paul Hooper. 
• Eric Fell was also on Episode 28 - "Turn Your Feces to Gold or Frame a Bear for Murder.

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. They deserve it.)

SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 57 - Best Kool-Aid vs. Best Mexican!

Being the best at something is vitally important to a FT - no matter what that something is! And, you better not challenge them - or things could get right dicey - and deadly.
This time we look at two guys who duelled about being the best Kool-Aid-maker, and a dude who needed to be the best Mexican!
Comedian Sean Emeny is our guest judge this time, and we are grateful he's willing to provide his input - and his verdict on the "FT of the Week".
Plus: a smorgasbord of weirdness...
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Sean Emeny on Facebook (Facebook.com/sean.emeny ) and on Twitter (@SeanEmeny)
• Interview with Sean on "The Dependant" ( http://thedependent.ca/entertainment/the-chris-james-show/episode-38-live-with-sean-emeny/ ) 

Info

• This week's stories:Kool-Aid Shooters, Best Mexican Wanna-Be
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Royal Banana").  Check out his site for a slew of wonderful, royalty-free music. 
• Another odd reason to fight is on: "Episode 53: Hell Hath No Fury Like a Man With a Peed-on Computer or a Buddy Who's Had More Sex with Matt Davis. 
• Last week, we discussed two parental FTs: "Episode 56 - An Eye for an Eyelash!" with Ben and Howard of "I Am Idiot"  

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. They deserve it.)

SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 55 - Bushy Arsonist vs. Lessons from a Lamebrain

***Note: An unusual episode this time as we don't have a guest. Still, there's lots of fun insanity. 
Of course, if you're listening for the first time, you might want to try another one first, like #53 or #52, to get a better idea of the show (Links below.)***
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Ah, good planning.... Never the hallmark of a FT...
These guys are no exception.  One sets a fire - but neglects to consider a key element... Another decides to teach his friend how not to become a victim - by arming himself and breaking into his place.
Since we are guest-less it's up to you to decide our "FT of the Week"! Contact us via Twitter, Facebook, Comment/Vote below or email us with your verdict and reasoning.
Plus: Learn how helpful lasers can be when it comes to your branch or weapon! - AND – An erotic tranny story written by… Kanye West?
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---Information and Links ---
Info

• You can find the Alchemy request I refer to in the intro, on this post.
• This week's stories: bushy arsonist, armed "teacher" 
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Chee Zee Jungle").  He offers lots of cool royalty-free music on his site.
• The busy signal is from SoundJay.com
• Here are the links to Episodes #53 and #52, if this is your first time here and you want to try out an episode or two.
• Want more terrible planners? We have a few with bad plans and a complete lack of back-up plans on "Episode 44 - Buy Back Your Gun From Your Victims or Withdraw Money from the Bank You Just Tried to Rob?"with Dave Ross.
• Last week, we talked about gals who wanted MORE.  (More jail time!) "Episode 54 - Double Your Pleasure with Double the Felony!" - with Darcy Michael. 

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SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom to judge!)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

CONTACT/FIND US:

Site: RantMeHard.com (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. Please.)
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  
Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 52 - A Loving Pastor and Killer vs. A Cheesemaking Murderer and Politician!

Making it on one job is next to impossible. That's why it's difficult to blame these guys for doing double (and triple-duty) - although they might have chosen their second job better.  This week, we have a man who spread the word of God, the ladies legs, and killed one of his parishioners. But is he more or less of a FT than a former murder, now a politician and cheesemaker, who posts an ad trying to have some people eaten?  
It's a mind-boggling choice - and that's why we're thrilled to have Sam Tripoli (of The Naughty Show) to help us crown the "FT of the Week".
Plus: Spam waxes poetic.
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---Information and Links ---

Guest 

• Find Sam Tripoli at Samtripoli.com on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/samtripoli) and on Twitter (@SamTripoli)
• "The Naughty Show" (Deathsquad.tv/?cat=22) is also Twitter (@NaughtyShow) and Facebook 
• "Punch Drunk" can be found at: Toadhopnetwork.com/f/Punch

Other Joy

• Stories: Pastor Love and Kill and Cheesy Murdering Politician 
• Outro Music: The Clemence Mosley Consort ("Crooked House") From the album “MacGuffin”  (iTunes)  - Thank you! 
• Another violent FT named Love was featured on: Episode 36 - "Those 10 Minutes of Freedom Were Pleasant But I'm Ready to Go Back" with Matt Koff.  
• Last week, we had two guys who required more training on the basics of criminal escapades... Episode 51 - "Call The Cops on Yourself or Arrange a Trade with Your Victims" - with Chris Gore.

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SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

CONTACT/FIND US:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness!   
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 51 - Call the Cops on Yourself or Arrange a Trade with Your Victims

Two more rules (for our Continuing Ed course on "Crime 101"): Don't call the cops on yourself, and assume that your victims won't be enthused about making a trade with you...
If this information surprises you - you may just be a FT!
Our Guest Judge this week is Comedian Chris Gore (of PodCRASH and many other things) and we could not be more relieved to have him sort out the FTedness for our "FT of the Week"!
Plus: a "straight", quick erotic story.
And, after the outro, we have a fun ringtone for you...
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---Information and Links ---

Guest 

• Find Chris Gore at ChrisGore.com, on Facebook (personal: Facebook.com/ThatChrisGore, page: http://www.facebook.com/ILikeChrisGore), and on Twitter (@ThatChrisGore) 
• Chris' podcast is PodCRASH! 
• His new stop-motion animated comedy series (about dolls who work at a dungeon) is FetishVIL (FetishVil.com/) (Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FetishVIL, Twitter: (@FetishVIL) 

Other Joy

• Stories: Fire call and Trade 
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Harlequin”). 
• The ringtone music (after outro) uses this sound from Freesound.org: "Dance Synth" by usinggarageband (Freesound.org/people/usinggarageband)  (Find the tone on our "Ringtone" page)
• Wondering what our intro - and the ringtone music is all about?  You'll find out on last week's (special and longer) episode: "Episode 50 - Such Photographic FTs" with Derek Sheen. 
• We featured a story about a man trying to get his gun back from his victims on Episode 44 - Buy Back Your Gun From Your Victims or Withdraw Money from the Bank You Just Tried to Rob? 

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SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

CONTACT/FIND US:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness!   
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)