76 - Fake It Until You... Something

There's a bunch of weird faking going on in this episode.  We have a man who fakes a robbery to... who knows, really.  And a woman who decides to get out of work by feigning her own kidnapping. Time off rocks!

The funny and dynamic Seth Wright from "Tales from the Attic" is back to share his derision as Guest Judge, and assess who truly merits the "FT of the Week" title.

Plus: Lesbian sex scammer (Yes! You read that right!)
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Guest Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Seth's podcast is at: http://talesfromtheattic.net
• Find him on Twitter:  @sethdwright 
• And find the podcast at: @tftapodcast and on Facebook: Facebook.com/talesfromtheattic 

• List of the Guest Judges we're had so far & their episode links here!

Info & Credits

• This week's stories: Thief Defender/Robber and Taking the Day Off... Sanity - plus: the lesbian sex scammer.  
• Episode 76 uses many sounds from freesound, full list here.

Related episodes

• Seth Wright was also on Episode 23 - "You Mess With The Convicted Murderer Cashier At McDonalds, You Get The Crowbar" 
• Last week, some abusers who really diversify! On Episode 75 - To Cherish You As Long As You Live. Which Won't Be Much Longer  - with Guest Judge Jesse P-S.
• More strange plans and excuses labelled "Excuses"
• More mind-melting excuses including "Rotten Soda Turned Me into a Pedophile!" tagged as "excuses". 

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FIND

More snarky and weird content on:
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• I'll be sending out a monthly newsletter (soon) containing additional weirdness. https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• And to email me, send to: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com  

YOUR VOTE:

You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3yr5i

(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop  for the new theme song and outro music: 
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.

67 - Fantasy FTland

Sometimes it's difficult to figure out the right course of action.
Say you're drunk and could use a ride home - you might simply ask a driver to do you a solid - but you can pretty much ensure a ride if you claim your (non-existent) child has been kidnapped. And what if you get stood up on a date? You could confront your date and tell him he's a louse - but wouldn't your frustration be conveyed more effectively if you got him arrested for a crime he didn't commit?
Comedian John Cullen judges the weirdness and decides the "FT of the Week", and we couldn't be more thankful.
Plus: Parking lot fragrance sampling!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• John Cullen is on Twitter (@cullenthecomic) 
• He'll be performing at Yuk Yuks Vancouver October 11-13th. 

Info

• This week's stories: Lie to Ride, Stand up gal  
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Sunshine version 2"). His site has tons of great, royalty-free tunes.  

Related episodes

• He discussed a guy who lied about the KKK targetting his family - to save his marriage! On Episode 29 - Better Relationships Through Arrests and the KKK! with Alex Falcone and Ezra Fox (of "Read it and Weep").
• More episodes highlighting extreme fibbers - including tales about ghosts strangling the wife, hostage takings to avoid admitting drunkeness, and a rape to change neighborhoods - tagged as: "lies"!   
• Last week,Graham Kay decided between two unique perverts on "Episode 66 - Naked out of Consideration vs Cross-Dressing to Molest"

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GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
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FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
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 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)  

Episode 45 - The Best Defense is a Good... Lie About Yogurt or Ghosts

If you kill (or try to kill) someone and don't want to cop to it, you could always go with the old-stand-by: "It wasn't me". But as we've learned, FTs are nothing if not creative.
Why not use your urge for dairy products as an alibi or blame a ghost for the crime! The possibilities for FT lies are infinite!
We are thrilled to have Comedian Chris Laker on the show to lend his expertise in deciding the "FT of the Week".
Plus: we have a guy who has mastered both chewing and oral sex...

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Links and Info:

• Find Chris Laker: at ChrisLaker.com, on Twitter (@chrislaker), at Douchechillz.com and on The New York City Crime Report with Pat Dixon. 
• Stories: Yogurt, Ghost.  
• Deep and meaningful oral sex instructional.
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Professor and the Plant”).
• Hear more FT creativity in action in: "Episode 37" Door-to-door Sexman vs. Maternity Wear Pickup Artist" with Monica's mom.
• Robbery is hard! Discover just how hard in "Episode 44 - Buy Back Your Gun From Your Victims or Withdraw Money from the Bank You Just Tried to Rob" with Dave Ross?
 

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• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

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GET MORE FTs! We post more weird content on:
Twitter: @rantmehard
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CONTACT/FIND US:
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll above)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 31 - Fake a Rape to Move to a Better Neighborhood or a Mugging to Placate Your Wife!

So... say you don't feel safe where you're living but your spouse is cool with the neighborhood - or you couldn't get your wife tickets to the final Oprah taping and know she'll be disappointed... Experts often suggest something like "communication" to resolve such situations.  But that is not the road an FT wants to take! After all, communication takes time and may not guarantee results. So why not fake a rape or assault? 

Because nothing brings two people closer than drama, dishonesty and FTedness!   Our esteemed Guest Judge is the fantastic comedian Jay Larson who uses his talent to crown our weekly FT winner.  He is joined by The Lurker... (Find out the identity of The Lurker by clicking here.)
And we learn how to talk dirty to a man from a wannabe Barry White. 
Buy Jay Larson's new album on iTunes or Amazon! 
And vote for your "favorite" FT(s) from this episode! (also below).

Subscribe, please! And rate us. Use any podcast service etc. (feed is here)  including  iTunes  - and please tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  And (most especially if you like us) review us on iTunes.
Twitter: @rantmehard / Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants /
New Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants  / Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  / Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) / Shane: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) / Monica: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)  

Episode 29 - Better Relationships Through Arrests and the KKK!

When you want relationship advice, all you get is the usual counsel: respect, listening, communication. Lame! Take a page from the FT handbook: Sex is never better than while under arrest and handcuffed in the back of a cop car - and the key to a long-lasting marriage is faking a hate crime! Think we can pick which of these actions are more FTed? You know we can’t! That’s why we have the awesome guys here from “Read it and Weep”, Alex Falcone and Ezra Fox to judge the brutal stupidity.  Also, a very enticing lady makes an offer you have to refuse.  Even if it kills you.
Oh Monica has a cough. You just might notice it.
Vote for your "favorite" FT(s) from this episode! (below) 
 


Subscribe on iTunes (rate us!) and please tell your inappropriate friends about us. Our site is now: rantmehard.com
Twitter: @rantmehard / Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants / New Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants  / Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  / Email: monica@rantmehard.com / Shane: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) / Monica: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)