83 - Meet a Woman to Ruin Your Life - or a Man to Take It

Dating! It's full of pitfalls: like being falsely accused of rape or being murdered by a sicko with a dark sense of humor.  Pick your poison. Or FT.

Comedian Carlos Herrera is our Guest Judge and determines the "FT of the Week"!

Plus:  a 15-step program for addiction!

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

• List of the Guest Judges & their episodes here!

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Find Carlos Herrera on Twitter (@cjherrera)
• And on Facebook 

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Explosator", in several sketch roles. 

Info

• This week's stories: Rape is in the Eye of the Beholder..? and a WICKED Man. Plus: a compassionate plan.

Related episodes

• Last week, we learned what will bring you.... Never mind - the answer is: Drugs! It's always: Drugs. Episode 82 - Get Closer To God - Or To Your Victim - With Drugs. 

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

Subscribe:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• New iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Help promote the show: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO: 

• Sloan Garrett (of SloanGarrett.com for creating and voicing the "Winners ad" - music "Winners" is "Overcast: by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
• Shiftypop for the theme song, interstitials and outro music.
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg  and music by beatscribe 
• Episode 83 uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here.  

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Photo below: Glass Of Wine For Two by Vera Kratochvil

81 - Flee From the Travelling Turk or Scream for the Ice Cream Lady

******We're back on iTunes - now at a new link: Please subscribe (or resubscribe): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413 ******

We have some persistent FTs this time around: A guy whose chance meeting with a gal - who doesn't want him - leads him on an 8 month sea odyssey...  And a lady who solves her problems with men in a manner that is unique - and intricate.

Thankfully Jarrod Harris is here to provide enlightenment and judgement!  Who will be the "FT of the Week"? Tune in and find out!

Plus: No bones about it, this chick is warped.

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

• List of the Guest Judges & their episodes here!

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Jarrod Harris' site: Jarrodharris.com
• He's on Twitter: @jarrodharris  
• On Facebook: Facebook.com/JarrodHarrisComedy 

Info

• This week's stories: Obsessive Turk, Ice Cream Lady - plus: Sexy Lady. 

Related episodes

• Last week, we had a man who liked to watch his co-workers go to the bathroom.  Also: his excuse for why he did it was terrible: Episode 80 - Penney Peeper vs. Poser for Piggybacks.

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

Subscribe:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• New iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted

• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/4087e (Or comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Help promote the show: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

• Sloan Garrett for the great ad! He wrote, produced and voiced it himself. <3
• Shiftypop for the new theme song, interstitial and outro music:  
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg  
• Contributors on Freesound.org - Episode 81 uses many sounds from freesound, for the full list see here.  

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Photo below: Boat At Sea by veronica söderberg

80 - Penney Peeper vs. Poser for Piggybacks

It's status quo over here... just talking about a few perverts trying to enact their fetishes without other people catching on...

Like watching co-workers go to the bathroom? Enjoy having people pile on top of each other (not what you're thinking...)  Who doesn't!

Judgement is provided by Found Footage's Nick Prueher! He awards the prestigious title of "FT of the Week".

Plus: Bowler Gone Bad.

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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

• List of the Guest Judges & their episodes here!

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge

• Nick Prueher can be found on Twitter (@nickprueher)  
• Found Footage Festival is also on Twitter (@foundfootage and on Facebook. 
• The Found Footage Festival is at: FoundFootageFest.com (About, Tour Info) 
• They'll be in Vancouver on December 4th at The Rio  

Info

• This week's stories: Penney Pepper, Poser for Piggybacks - plus: Karaoke Rage! 

Related episodes

• Last week,  two perverted Pastors duked it out for the title - on Episode 79 - Pastor Molest to Cure vs Pastor Satan-Influenced Necro.     

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

• Please Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Email and other options here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html

FIND

More snarky and weird content on:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted

• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". http://poll.fm/3zx2z (Or comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Help promote the show: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop for the new theme song, interstitial and outro music:  
• Calso Art for the new logo/album art.
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg 
• Contributors on Freesound.org - Episode 80 uses many sounds from freesound, for the full list see here.

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Photo below: Woman On The Phone by Vera Kratochvil

Episode 51 - Call the Cops on Yourself or Arrange a Trade with Your Victims

Two more rules (for our Continuing Ed course on "Crime 101"): Don't call the cops on yourself, and assume that your victims won't be enthused about making a trade with you...
If this information surprises you - you may just be a FT!
Our Guest Judge this week is Comedian Chris Gore (of PodCRASH and many other things) and we could not be more relieved to have him sort out the FTedness for our "FT of the Week"!
Plus: a "straight", quick erotic story.
And, after the outro, we have a fun ringtone for you...
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---Information and Links ---

Guest 

• Find Chris Gore at ChrisGore.com, on Facebook (personal: Facebook.com/ThatChrisGore, page: http://www.facebook.com/ILikeChrisGore), and on Twitter (@ThatChrisGore) 
• Chris' podcast is PodCRASH! 
• His new stop-motion animated comedy series (about dolls who work at a dungeon) is FetishVIL (FetishVil.com/) (Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FetishVIL, Twitter: (@FetishVIL) 

Other Joy

• Stories: Fire call and Trade 
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Harlequin”). 
• The ringtone music (after outro) uses this sound from Freesound.org: "Dance Synth" by usinggarageband (Freesound.org/people/usinggarageband)  (Find the tone on our "Ringtone" page)
• Wondering what our intro - and the ringtone music is all about?  You'll find out on last week's (special and longer) episode: "Episode 50 - Such Photographic FTs" with Derek Sheen. 
• We featured a story about a man trying to get his gun back from his victims on Episode 44 - Buy Back Your Gun From Your Victims or Withdraw Money from the Bank You Just Tried to Rob? 

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• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

CONTACT/FIND US:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness!   
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 25 - Facebook, FTs, Faceplant

Like a Facebook status - or ignore it? It's your funeral! And don't miss an opportunity: friend your burglary victim - she was smokin' cute! Facebook is the FT drug of choice this time: it makes a man do crazy things! And the only people qualified to judge this level of stupidity are the guys at Stupid Wankers! We're grateful to have Greg Vance and Ryan Downing deciding on the "FT of the Week".  Also: Monica interprets a "narrative" from a Walmart customer about his 3 hour ordeal - which takes nearly the same amount of time to read.  

Want to rant? Have a pet peeve you need to vent about? Leave us a voicemail on our new Skype Rantline! "rantmehard" 
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Please: Subscribe.
And rate/review us on iTunes  - tell people we don't suck.
(You can use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). 

Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants 
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!
Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca - @ShaneBee on Twitter 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com - @MonicaHamburg on Twitter