67 - Fantasy FTland

Sometimes it's difficult to figure out the right course of action.
Say you're drunk and could use a ride home - you might simply ask a driver to do you a solid - but you can pretty much ensure a ride if you claim your (non-existent) child has been kidnapped. And what if you get stood up on a date? You could confront your date and tell him he's a louse - but wouldn't your frustration be conveyed more effectively if you got him arrested for a crime he didn't commit?
Comedian John Cullen judges the weirdness and decides the "FT of the Week", and we couldn't be more thankful.
Plus: Parking lot fragrance sampling!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• John Cullen is on Twitter (@cullenthecomic) 
• He'll be performing at Yuk Yuks Vancouver October 11-13th. 

Info

• This week's stories: Lie to Ride, Stand up gal  
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Sunshine version 2"). His site has tons of great, royalty-free tunes.  

Related episodes

• He discussed a guy who lied about the KKK targetting his family - to save his marriage! On Episode 29 - Better Relationships Through Arrests and the KKK! with Alex Falcone and Ezra Fox (of "Read it and Weep").
• More episodes highlighting extreme fibbers - including tales about ghosts strangling the wife, hostage takings to avoid admitting drunkeness, and a rape to change neighborhoods - tagged as: "lies"!   
• Last week,Graham Kay decided between two unique perverts on "Episode 66 - Naked out of Consideration vs Cross-Dressing to Molest"

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• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
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FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)  

65 - A Kick in the Face May Be Quite Therapeutic But Trauma is a Gal's Best Friend

As sinners, it's obvious why we wouldn't know the intricacies of evangelical work.
But the pious men we feature this time around sure do! One traumatises his young flock in order for them to prep for future traumatisation.  Another beats his followers to rid them of ailments!
It's what Jesus would have wanted.   
Fortunately, Comedians Jon Shefsky and Johnny Skourtis are our Guest Judges and they combine their power to determine this week's "FT of the week".
Plus: Sorting out your real-life issues in a comments thread!
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---Information and Links ---
Guests 

• Jon Shefsky (Joncomedy.com) is on Twitter (@Shefsky) and Facebook (Facebook.com/Jon.Shefsky). 
• Johnny Skourtis is on Twitter (@JohnnySkourtis) and Facebook (Facebook.com/Johnny.Skourtis). 

Info

• This week's stories: Pastor Trauma, Evangelist Kick-in-Face   
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("A Friendly Day"). His site has lots of fantastic, royalty-free tunes.  
• Another example of trauma to teach on Episode 55 - Bushy Arsonist vs. Lessons from a Lamebrain 
• Another ever-so-pious man on Episode 52 - A Loving Pastor and Killer vs. A Cheesemaking Murderer and Politician! with Sam Tripoli. 
• Last week, we discussed some perverted workplace tactics with Jessica Sager on "Episode 64 - Professor Pie and the Drive-Through Delinquent"

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
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  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

64 - Professor Pie and the Drive-Through Delinquent

Corrupt your job - FT-style!
We should have learned (after Episode 48) that the most appropriate place for perverted illegal acts is, of course, your workplace!
Look, work is where you spend most of your time and when you add your fetish to your job, you enjoy it that much more.
And so, this week, we feature a professor who shares his passion with his students and a fast-food worker who gives some patrons what they really want.
Fortunately, Comedian Jessica Sager can lend us her wisdom and decide the "FT of the week".
Plus: Stabbing over a Cosmo Quiz.  (Which sounds about right, actually.)
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Jessica Sager is on Twitter (@ohheyjessager) and Facebook (Facebook.com/ohheyjesssager ).
• There's a cool interview with her on the "It's a Horrible Life" blog.

Info

• This week's stories: Drive-through, Professor Pie Fetish   
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Jarvic8"). His site has a whole whack of awesome, royalty-free tunes.   
• More workplace perversion on Episode 48 - Look, If You're Going to Get All Irrational About My Junk...  - with Cort Webber and Fatboy Roberts.
• And another pervie teacher on "Episode 34 - What's the answer? Get Naked! What's the question? Who cares!" with Glenn Tickle.   

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
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SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 62 - Ooops There Goes Another Baby Go Splat

Look, nobody said you'd love your kids once you had them.
Wait - everybody says that...
Well, this week the competitors are two gals who realized they weren't up for the task of child-rearing - only once they were considerably entangled. So they found some interesting ways of dealing with their problem.
Thankfully, Comedian Julian Kross is here to contemplate these FTs and weigh in on who merits the title of "FT of the week".
Plus: We learn about the hottest place to be!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Julian Kross is at (Juliankross.com) and can be found on Facebook (Facebook.com/JulianKrossComedy) and on Twitter (@JulianKross).   
• He has a book: "What You Didn't Expect When You Got Knocked Up" available on Amazon. Buy it to avoid being a FT we profile on the show. 

Info

• This week's stories: Attentive Mother, Highway Watcher  
• Thanks to Pete Mosley for the outro music: The Clemence Mosley Consort with their tune :"Crooked House" - from the album “MacGuffin” (iTunes)  
• The dying sound-effect my cruel song is "dying" - Recorded by Mike Koenig via Soundbible 
• Last week, one guy blames his gropping gals on... caffeine. Episode 61 - My Coffee Made Me Gropey and Other Tales of Woe - with Tom Simmons.  

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. They deserve it.)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 61 - My Coffee Made Me Gropey and Other Tales of Woe

Caffeine can sure make a person hyper – but did you know it can also make you a sex offender? And did you realize that work stress can influence you steal a slew of bizarre, unrelated items?
We learn so much doing this show!
Fortunately, we get some great help from Comedian Tom Simmons who determines our "FT of the Week"!
Plus: Dating, FT-Style
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Tom Simmons is at TomSimmonsComedy.com and can be found on Facebook (Facebook.com/tom.simmons.146  ) and on Twitter ( @tsimmonscomedy).   
• His podcast is "Bully the Bullies" - check it out at:  http://BullyTheBullies.com 
• Buy his comedy CD "Keep Up" on iTunes or via the "merch" page on his site. 

Info

• This week's stories: Caffeine Groper, Stressy Stealer
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Professor and the Plant "). His site has a whole whack of awesome, royalty-free tunes. 
• We refer to the wonderful Paul Hooper here.  He was on Episode 59 "The Spirits Request that You Do Porn". 
• Last week, 2 public masturbators duked it out on "Episode 60 - Jailhouse Rock vs. Irresistible Department Store" - with Eric Fell. 
• And ther are more bizarre excuses on "Episode 58 - Just Hand Over the Berries and Nobody Gets Hurt" - with Andrew Schulz.

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. They deserve it.)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 60 - Jailhouse Rock vs. Irresistible Department Store

Loving yourself is essential.  Of course, it might be prudent to conduct your hot self-action, in private.
Or you could whip it out at as you leave jail for court - or at Zeller's.  That's cool too, Bro.
The wonderful Comedian Eric Fell returns to Guest Judge, deciding the "FT of the Week"!
Plus: Upcoming hit films!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Eric Fell can be found on Facebook ( Facebook.com/ericfell) and on Twitter ( @EricFell ).  He's in the Critical Hit Show: "A Live Dugeons and Dragon Experience".  And here he is reading from "Breaking Dawn" (at "Say Wha?!").

Info

• This week's stories: Jailer, Zeller's Man  
• Thanks to Pete Mosley for the outro music: The Clemence Mosley Consort with their tune :"MacGuffin" - from the album “MacGuffin” (iTunes)  
• Last week, we discussed some crazy spirit action! Episode 59 "The Spirits Request that You Do Porn" - with Paul Hooper. 
• Eric Fell was also on Episode 28 - "Turn Your Feces to Gold or Frame a Bear for Murder.

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. They deserve it.)

SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 59 - The Spirits Request that You Do Porn

The supernatural world can be so compelling! And their wishes so strange! You might need to strip for spirits so they can better communicate with you - or steal a baby to bring back your dead mother!
Once again we have double the fun: giving you at least two FTs in each article!  
And we are so grateful to have Comedian Paul Hooper on as this week's Guest Judge to figure this mess out and determine the "FT of the Week"!
Plus: An "erotic" story written by a Goth.
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Paul Hooper can be found at: PaulHooperComedy.com and he's also on Facebook ( Facebook.com/paulhoopercomedy ) and on Twitter ( @PaulHooper ). 

Info

• This week's stories: Hot for Spirit, Mommy's in the Baby!   
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Sovereign"). His site has a whole whack of awesome, royalty-free tunes. 
• Last week, we discussed some dudes with terrible excuses... like being kidnapped and held hostage: "Episode 58 - Just Hand Over the Berries and Nobody Gets Hurt" with Andrew Schulz.
• More gals falling for ridiculous scams on... "Episode 34 - What's the answer? Get Naked! What's the question? Who cares!" with Glenn Tickle - and at the end of "Episode 49 - Choke Rattle and Roll!" with Caleb Bacon.

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. They deserve it.)

SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 58 - Just Hand Over the Berries and Nobody Gets Hurt

So... You did something bad. You have several options. You could: a) Tell the truth about it b) Lie c) Lie to the MAX!
You can probably guess what a FT's gonna do...
We have one guy trying to avoid admitting he was drunk on the job and another not wanting to get caught cheating on his gal
Naturally a story about hostage taking and kidnapping is in order!
Thankfully, Comedian Andrew Schulz lends his services to figure out which of these two fools is the "FT of the Week".
Plus: a perverted Mr. Rogers teaches you how to win women over using hypnotic poetry..
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Andrew Schulz's site is TheAndrewSchulz.com, he's on Facebook (Facebook.com/theAndrewSchulz) and on Twitter (@andrewschulz) 
• He's also on the MTV shows: "The Guy Code" and "Hip Hop Squares". 

Info

• This week's stories: Kidnapped Cheater, Hostage Drunk  
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Sneaky Adventure"). His site has a whole whack of awesome, royalty-free tunes. 
• Last week, we had some FTs who were really proud of themselves... "
  "Episode 57 - Best Kool-Aid vs. Best Mexican" with Sean Emeny.
• More strange excuses on : "Episode 45 - The Best Defense is a Good... Lie About Yogurt or Ghosts" with Chris Laker - and on "Episode 31 - Fake a Rape to Move to a Better Neighborhood or a Mugging to Placate Your Wife!" with Jay Larson and "The Lurker".

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
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SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 50 - Such Photogenic FTs!

Planning a crime is challenging - and sometimes it's the small details that trip you up. Or the huge, really glaring details...
This time around we have FTed criminals caught by special photos...
Comedian Derek Sheen is this week's Guest Judge and we're so grateful he's able to decide our "FT of the Week"!
And, since it's our 50th episode we've made it longer (and harder) with: a wonderful voicemail, a licky cop and learning to whisper to a woman's intimate parts. Plus: another awesome song from "The Weekend Pilots" (TheWeekendPilots.com)!
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Find Derek Sheen at  DerekTime.com, contribute to his Kickstarter Campaign to fund his new album "Holy Drivel" , on Facebook (Facebook.com/dereksheen), and on Twitter (@DerekSheen) 
• The Weekend Pilots are at ( TheWeekendPilots.com) and on Twitter (@weekendpilots) and Facebook (Facebook.com/theweekendpilots ).  Download their self-titled album for free from their site.   

Other Joy

• Stories: Fake stroke, steal car and Framed photo  
• And: licky cop
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Chee Zee Jungle”). 
• Last week we featured some uber-ambitious FTs: on Episode 49 - "Choke, Rattle and Roll" with Caleb Bacon 

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• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

CONTACT/FIND US:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness!   
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

 

Episode 48 - Look, If You're Going to Get All Irrational About My Junk...

Hey, work can be dull sometimes.
So why not make your day that much jazzier by conducting job interviews naked  or pulling people over for traffic violations and then showing them pics of your bits?
Add some nudity and unwanted sexual advances to your workday and you've done turned lemons into FTade!
We're fortunate that Cort and Fatboy are able to Guest Judge and provide the "FT of the Week" verdict.
Plus: A cheery, balanced gal on Twitter.

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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• "Cort and Fatboy"'s site is cortandfatboy.com and they're on Twitter @cortandfatboy)   
• Find Cort Webber on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/cort2) and on Twitter (@cortwebber)
• Find Bobby "Fatboy" Roberts on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/FatboyRoberts)  and on Twitter (@fatboyroberts) 

Other Joy

• Stories: Cop, Cafe Boss  
• Outro Music: The Clemence Mosley Consort ("Crooked House") From the album “MacGuffin”  (iTunes)  - Thank you! 
• Shout outs to: @fart who found that gem of a Twitter account, Eli Braden (@elibraden), who mentioned @fart when he spoke with Caleb Bacon (@calebeatsbacon on the Gentlemen's Club (that episode here). (And Eli Braden's episode on our show was #42 - "When You Friend an FT, You Friend for Life.) 
• The Panty Survey song (by The Weekend Pilots) that we refer to can be heard here and on our Episode  43  - You Stole My Heart, I Stole Your Phone with Joe Klocek - an episode which also features some classic pick-up attempts.
• And there's also some more random nudity news in our last show - Episode 47 "Dress for Success" with Brendan Bradley.  
  • SUBSCRIBE!
  • Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: if you don't review us well - the FTs win!.)
  • (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
  • We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

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GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on:
Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants
CONTACT/FIND US:
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness!   
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 45 - The Best Defense is a Good... Lie About Yogurt or Ghosts

If you kill (or try to kill) someone and don't want to cop to it, you could always go with the old-stand-by: "It wasn't me". But as we've learned, FTs are nothing if not creative.
Why not use your urge for dairy products as an alibi or blame a ghost for the crime! The possibilities for FT lies are infinite!
We are thrilled to have Comedian Chris Laker on the show to lend his expertise in deciding the "FT of the Week".
Plus: we have a guy who has mastered both chewing and oral sex...

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Links and Info:

• Find Chris Laker: at ChrisLaker.com, on Twitter (@chrislaker), at Douchechillz.com and on The New York City Crime Report with Pat Dixon. 
• Stories: Yogurt, Ghost.  
• Deep and meaningful oral sex instructional.
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Professor and the Plant”).
• Hear more FT creativity in action in: "Episode 37" Door-to-door Sexman vs. Maternity Wear Pickup Artist" with Monica's mom.
• Robbery is hard! Discover just how hard in "Episode 44 - Buy Back Your Gun From Your Victims or Withdraw Money from the Bank You Just Tried to Rob" with Dave Ross?
 

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• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: e a positive review for us will mean you'll be fully protected from rabid vaginas when they inevitably attack!)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

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GET MORE FTs! We post more weird content on:
Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants
CONTACT/FIND US:
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll above)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 41 - Flashy Knifing and Cards for a Criminal

(Note: Another unusual episode.  We usually have a Guest Judge deciding on our weirdos.  So, if you're listening for the first time, try starting with Episode 34, 29 or 35.)
Knife people for not wanting to see your boobs or get your elementary students to make cards for your jailbird boyfriend?  Sure, no one's killed or kidnapped or set fire to anything this time, but our contenders are still complete FTs nonetheless.
Not the standard show today as our intended guest got sick and we must bear the burden of deciding the "FT of the week" ourselves.
Plus:

• An Aussie man improvs a lady-focussed "erotic" fantasy
• (After our outro:) A man pleads for sex.  But not in the conventional way.  
• And draw your own perverted conclusions re: the new StumbleUpon logo. 

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• Monica was on Delicious Mediocrity recently.  Listen to the episode here.
• Want balance? There are men doing stupid stuff in our last episode "My FT Valentine. Deranged, Psycho Valentine" with the guys from Ear Candy (Adam Hiniker and Vance Barber).   

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• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: every positive review you give us makes us bolder and more powerful!)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  

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We're on Stitcher Now:
http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :)
GET MORE FTs! On:
Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants
CONTACT/FIND US:
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week".
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

Episode 40 - My FT Valentine. Deranged, Psycho Valentine

Update: Originally the feed picked up only the *ringtone* for this episode - it should have the full episode (33 minutes+) there now.
--Show Description:--
How shall you win your love back?  What plan will get her back in your arms forever? You can't say you've tried everything unless you've burned down her brother's property or staged beng kidnapped by a gang!
Tip: in the world of FTs you are awarded bonus points for originality and drama!
We're excited to have Adam Hiniker and Vance Barber from the Ear Candy podcast as our Guest Judges for this episode, to analyse these specimens and determine our "FT of the Week".
Plus: A man fails his exam because of a cat. (Who hasn't been there...)
And we have your new ringtone...

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• Follow Ear Candy  on Twitter (@earcandynewyork) and Facebook.  (Vance Barber's also on Twitter as @vancejbarber)
• There's more bad romance on Episode 29 "Better Relationships Through Arrests and the KKK!" with Alex Falcone and Ezra Fox of "Read it and Weep". 

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• SUBSCRIBE!
• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: every positive review you give us makes us bolder and more powerful!)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  

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We're on Stitcher Now:
http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :)
GET MORE FTs! On:
Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants
CONTACT/FIND US:
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week".
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)

Episode 37 - Door-to-door Sexman vs. Maternity Wear Pickup Artist

Women! They're so difficult to understand!  How can one possibly gage what seduction technique will work on them?  That's why it's important to confuse the ladies by having a completely unique approach.  This week's FTs redefine original.  One gives gals the choice of magazines or sex while another dresses in women's maternity gear to woo.  Foolproof!   
Monica desperately needs help to determine our "FT of Week" and so her mom returns to judge the FTness. 
And: we have some sexual hypnosis for you...   _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

• Related creeps you might like:  A man who went door-to-door checking breasts (Episode 27 - "Doctor Fondler and the Facebook Oral Prankster!" with Jackie Gold)) and a guy who tried to seduce kids - in his own apartment building (Episode 24 -"Get Oiled, Get Licked, Get Arrested, Get Shot Up the A!" with Brian Brushwood)    
• And we refer to our Eastern European porn proposal which is in Episode 34 "What's the answer? Get Naked! What's the question? Who cares!" 

  

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Please vote for your choice for "FT of the Week" (Use the poll, comment, twitter us, Facebook us, email us etc.  Info and links below.)
 

Please: SUBSCRIBE

And rate/review us on iTunes. (remember: it's not shite.)
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We're on Stitcher Now: 

http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :) 

MORE INSANITY:
Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US:
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)  

Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.   
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 

Episode 30 - Sue Me, Sue You, Sue Your Hostage or a Dead Man's Parents, That's the Way it Should Be

So many good options for people you can sue!  How about your kidnap victims for turning you in?  They, like, totally promised they wouldn't!  Or the parents of the suicidal man you happened to run over? They probably have some energy to spare!  It's more suey-suey FTs on this episode of "The S&M Rants".   Who's more deserving of the "FT of the Week" title?  Imagine the pain of our Guest Judges, “AAlgar” and Matt Rowbotham  from "Sarcastic Voyage" as they help us crown the winner...    
Plus: Learn the tell-tale sign that you're going to get robbed by a Craiglist date.
And: Monica re-records the dollar value of the lawsuit in the first story ("$235,000") as she made no sense whatsoever in the original take and didn't realize it until editing. Yeah, you might just notice this correction.   
Big thanks to Brian Everidge (@pisquar) for sending us the Craigslist story and suggesting our wonderful guests.  Everyone: Be more like Brian! ;)  Email us or Twitter us with weird stuff, guest suggestions and/or feedback (contact details below).
Vote for your "favorite" FT(s) from this episode! (also below) 
Follow @aalgar and @robotmatt on Twitter. 





Subscribe, please! And rate us. Use any podcast service etc. (feed is here)  including  iTunes  - and please tell your inappropriate friends about us. Our site is now:rantmehard.com
Twitter: @rantmehard / Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants / New Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants  / Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  / Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) / Shane: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) / Monica: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)