115 - No Homo Molester vs Real Estate Revenge

What do you do when you live next to people whose lifestyle you disapprove of - or when you want to buy a house but it just doesn't work out? Some would choose to just go on with their life. And those people are adorable.

So... Burn their home down or create a campaign of terror? Of course!

Sara Barron (Humorist, Author of "The Harm in Asking" and "People are Unappealing") is our wonderful Guest Judge this time - and determines our “FT of the Week”.

Plus: Craigslist provides a stellar example of relationship problem solving!

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------PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW THE SHOW. IN A GOODLY WAY----

On ITunes: Bit.ly/DazedandConvicted 

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Dazed and Convicted, A Dark Comedy Podcast
Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Host 

• Monica Hamburg (Twitter @monicahamburg, Vine, Facebook )  

Co-Host 

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge    

• Sara Barron http://sarabarron.com
• Buy her books - especially the new one! ("The Harm in Asking") http://sarabarron.com/buy/
  (You can purchase from that link on Amazon etc.) 
• Twitter (@sarabarron)
• Facebook (Facebook.com/sarabarron1000000 )

Sponsor

• Hostgator.com - Get 30% off EVERYTHING by using our special code: DAZED

Check out 

• All episodes & guests - list here: Dazedandconvicted.com/p/full-guest-list_4.html 
• We're also on Soundcloud 

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Channel

Dazed and Convicted is part of the Pod Awful Channel.
There's also a Entertaining Podawful Channel Facebook Group

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

By subscribing:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• I'm also on: the Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Please help us by sharing the show! (We're on Soundcloud, Stitcher, Twitter, Facebook or other to win the 1-month sexy membership!)  
• Other ways to promote the show here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

• Shiftypop does all our regular music: the theme song, interstitials, outro music. She has a CD out with her band ToyPop. you can get it on iTunes & Spotify.  Listen to the joy that is ToyPOP here: https://soundcloud.com/toypop
• Calso Art for the logo/album art
• For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg  
• Sad whistle (after mom's disclaimer) = by Splashdust on Freesound.org

Most SFX sounds and music (such as the ones in the sketches) are from Freesound. EXCEPT:

The music in sketch 2 are both by Kevin MacLeod:

 1) (For “Lair”:) "Oppressive Gloom" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
 2) (For “Lovely couple’s home”:) "Porch Swing Days - slower" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

• The full list of sounds used are here.  

Photo below Open House Sign by Paul Brennan little paul

91 - Horsevenge vs Free Car Downfall

We’ve established that criminals aren’t the best at planning – but even the dumbest of the dumb wouldn’t have sex with a mammal as a revenge ploy? Or try to pin their crime on a very generous mystery man?

Proving once again that FTs are in a class all their own…

We’re so grateful that Jamie Lissow is here to unravel the mysteries of these minds(?) and decide on the “FT of the Week”.

Plus: The foolproof cure for hiccups!
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---Information and Links ---

Site: DazedandConvicted.com

Channel

We're part of the Pod Awful Channel.  Podawful.net

Host 

• Monica Hamburg

Co-Host

• Bill Allman

Guest Judge 

• Jamie Lissow's site: JamieLissow.com
• He's on Twitter: @jamielissow  
• And on YouTube: Youtube.com/user/hahahaveryfunny 

Special Appearance 

• Our friend, "Malox The Mighty Expositor", in several sketch roles.

Info

• This week's stories: Horsevenge, Free Car Downfall. Plus: Hiccup Cure.

Related episodes

• Last week, on Episode 90, people who will stop at nothing to get their kink on! 90 - I Can’t Get No Trailerfaction
• Full episode & guest list here: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/full-guest-list_4.html

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GENERAL SHOW NOTES

GET IT. FAST.

Subscribe:

• Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/DazedAndConvicted
• New iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dazed-convicted-formerly-s/id436670413
• On Stitcher: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756
• Via Email (see: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/subscribe.html)

FIND

More snarky and weird content via:

• Twitter: @DazedConvicted
• Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
• Newsletter: http://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg
• I'm also on: the Podawful Channel Group: Facebook.com/groups/podawfulchannel/?fref=ts

YOU ARE WELCOME TO:

• Email me: monica @ dazedandconvicted.com
• Tell me your choice for "FT of the Week" - comment on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)
• Help promote the show: http://www.dazedandconvicted.com/p/help-promote.html

THANKS TO:

Shiftypop for the theme song, interstitials and outro music. 

Calso Art for the logo/album art.

For: “Competitor 1” etc.: Voice = abcdawg 

Episode 91 uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list see here.   

Photo below = Bright Idea by zaldy icaonapo

70 - Cape FT

Revenge,  It's the plot of so many films... Take Cape Fear, for example.  A man spends 14 years in prison and he blames his lawyer - so he takes his fury out on the man's family.
Well, this week's real-life FTs are like that but also...well, not.
Here: a gal calls in a bomb threat when her boyfriend breaks up with her - and another balanced lady post a sexual profile of the gal who gave her restaurant a bad review.
Thankfully, we have the guys from the "Sweet Feathery Jesus" Podcast (Booze, Belasco and Dr. P.) as our Guest Judges to provide insight on the madness help us understand - and decide on the "FT of the Week".
Plus: Beware of #CRAYZEETWYTERZ
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---Information and Links ---
Guests 

• Hear: The Sweet Feathery Jesus podcast: Sweetfeatheryjesus.com
• Find them on Twitter: (Main & Booze: @sfjdotcom and Belasco = @Jeffasu, Dr. P. = @BeTheCatfish  
• On Facebook: Facebook.com/sfjdotcom    
• And: Monica's on one of their ".5" episodes... 55.5 - "Festivities".   

Info

• This week's stories: Review Revenge and Breakup Bomb-Threat.
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Mad Pianist"). His site has tons of great, royalty-free tunes.  

Related episodes

• More creative solutions - such as a woman who tried to strangle her daughter's classmate and a dude who posted a sexual profile of his kid's high school Assistant Principal... on Episode 56: "An Eye for An Eyelash" with the guys from "I Am Idiot" Podcast.  
• And, last week, strange and active days for a guy, his gal... and a car... "Episode 69: Birthday Break vs. Crime Car" with Aalgar and Matt of "Sarcastic Voyage". 

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SHOW NOTES etc. on:
          RantMeHard.com
          (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. Show them you're hip  - or deranged!)
SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!
  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action!
We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

FIND THE HOSTS:

Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) 

Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)

OTHER INFO:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!   
 Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 
 You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)  
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)  

Episode 56 - An Eye for an Eyelash!

When you're a parent, you vow to protect your child from harm. So, logically, you need to: strangle a teen or turn your child's assistant principal into a porn star!

Don't worry if your actions are slightly (or insanely) disproportionate to the original slight: that's the way of the FT!

Fortunately, very funny Ben and Howard of "I Am Idiot" come on to give us their "FT of the Week" Verdict.
Plus: Learn where to buy the fluids of a broke trashpicker!  (Don't say we don't want to help!)
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---Information and Links ---
Guest 

• Ben and Howard can be found on the "I Am Idiot" podcast ( IAmIdiotCentral.com/ )
• They also have a Facebook Group ( Facebook.com/groups/238655809511074/ ) and are on Twitter ( @iamidiotcentral )

Info

• This week's stories: Mom the Strangler, Dad the Pornographer)
• Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Aces High").  Check out his site for a slew of wonderful, royalty-free music. 
• Another tale of parental revenge - EXTREME-style: on "Episode 42 - When You Friend an FT, You Friend for Life" with Eli Braden.
• Last week, we didn't have a guest but we did discuss two FTs who did zero planning.... "Episode 55 - Bushy Arsonist vs. Lessons from a Lamebrain". 

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SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes: a positive review for us protects from the bath salt zombie apocalypse!  
• If you use Stitcher Radio we are there too!  Please help us promote by sharing the show using the 1-click Facebook, Twitter and Email icons on the Stitcher app.
• You can use any podcast service to subscribe, btw - feed is here).

GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

CONTACT/FIND US:

Site: RantMeHard.com (Tell your inappropriate friends about us. Please.)
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg containing additional weirdness.
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  
Our (fairly unused) Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 52 - A Loving Pastor and Killer vs. A Cheesemaking Murderer and Politician!

Making it on one job is next to impossible. That's why it's difficult to blame these guys for doing double (and triple-duty) - although they might have chosen their second job better.  This week, we have a man who spread the word of God, the ladies legs, and killed one of his parishioners. But is he more or less of a FT than a former murder, now a politician and cheesemaker, who posts an ad trying to have some people eaten?  
It's a mind-boggling choice - and that's why we're thrilled to have Sam Tripoli (of The Naughty Show) to help us crown the "FT of the Week".
Plus: Spam waxes poetic.
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---Information and Links ---

Guest 

• Find Sam Tripoli at Samtripoli.com on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/samtripoli) and on Twitter (@SamTripoli)
• "The Naughty Show" (Deathsquad.tv/?cat=22) is also Twitter (@NaughtyShow) and Facebook 
• "Punch Drunk" can be found at: Toadhopnetwork.com/f/Punch

Other Joy

• Stories: Pastor Love and Kill and Cheesy Murdering Politician 
• Outro Music: The Clemence Mosley Consort ("Crooked House") From the album “MacGuffin”  (iTunes)  - Thank you! 
• Another violent FT named Love was featured on: Episode 36 - "Those 10 Minutes of Freedom Were Pleasant But I'm Ready to Go Back" with Matt Koff.  
• Last week, we had two guys who required more training on the basics of criminal escapades... Episode 51 - "Call The Cops on Yourself or Arrange a Trade with Your Victims" - with Chris Gore.

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SUBSCRIBE!

• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on:

Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants

CONTACT/FIND US:

Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness!   
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) 

Episode 42 - When you Friend an FT, You Friend for Life

How do you right a wrong?! How will you avenge an insult as strong, as brutal, as soul-destroying as... a Facebook Unfriending?
Why, murder or arson, of course!
That is, if you're an FT.
Some baffling idiocy on display here so we are most grateful to have Eli Braden as our Guest Judge to determine our "FT of the Week".
Plus we learn how to enlarge our breasts...
And (after the outro) Eli's song: "White People Problems".

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• Eli Braden info: He's on @elibraden on Twitter and on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/elibraden) and his album: "The New King of Comedy-Based Music" is available on iTunes   
• There's more Facebook related idiocy on Episode 25 "Facebook, FTs, Faceplant" - where we learn of what happens when you don't like your husband's status or when you try to friend your victim - with the Greg Vance and Ryan Downing from "Stupid Wankers". 

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• SUBSCRIBE!
• Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: e a positive review for us will mean you'll be fully protected from rabid vaginas when they inevitably attack!)
• (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here).  
• We're also on Stitcher Radio! 

---

GET MORE FTs! We post more weird content on:
Twitter: @rantmehard
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants
CONTACT/FIND US:
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter )
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)
Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  
Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants
You can place your VOTE!
For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll above)
(You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.)